Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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