that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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