I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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