I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize