ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm drive I can fine osifer
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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