My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
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Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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