I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Drunk is not a location!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize