I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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