Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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