Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
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I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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