Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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