mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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