Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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