if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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