I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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