Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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