it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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