Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
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Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize