At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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