I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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