eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize