a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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