Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
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I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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