I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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