The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
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His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize