Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize