Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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