God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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