Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize