No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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