Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize