My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize