i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
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I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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