im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize