Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have feelings that need drinking.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize