dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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