question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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