We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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