I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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