Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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