i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize