4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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