Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
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You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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