P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize