Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize