So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
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I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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