just come out here and I will go home with you...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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