It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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