She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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