You don't have asthma, your pregnant
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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